Thursday, March 29, 2012

Most recent update and a few answers

Hi Everyone,
I probably should check this blog more than once a year. But it bears mentioning why I haven't- BECAUSE I FORGOT THAT I FAILED THE BAR. That's right. I forgot. And if you are reading this because you just found out that you failed- know that 7 years later- you too will probably have forgotten about it as impossible as that notion is at the moment. Life changes- things happen and whether you pass or fail- it won't define what's to come in the future. It just won't. Life is so much bigger than law school, or even your job as an attorney. This isn't the thing that you are haunted about years later. Trust me- I thought I would be haunted forever, and I'm just not. Maybe because I overcame it? Or maybe I just got over it. Either way, I don't think about often, if ever. My friends who failed and then later passed- I guarantee that they don't think about it often either. One of them now has the BEST job ever- in house with a major corporation, about to get married... it definitely didn't adversely affect her long term. And remember that Hillary Clinton failed the bar the first time around- do you think she's jetting around the globe as Secretary of State years later, thinking that she isn't good enough because she failed?

My life is going well at the moment- I am still happily married and am a stay home with my kid full time now and it's more satisfying and harder than practicing law ever was for me. I see my friends who practice and think that there is almost nothing that could probably get me back to the place I was as a nervous law clerk studying for the bar again, or as an attorney, worried every second about hours and memos and my partners breathing down my neck. I think law school is probably the biggest ponzi scheme ever created. You pay to keep law schools in business, to keep professors in high paying cushy jobs without actually having to practice law, and essentially to keep the cycle going on and on and on.....

But I digress. I was going to say that life is going well at the moment, but the second half of 2011 pretty much sucked for me for reasons not related to failing the bar. My husband had problems in his job, we had to move, I had to go back to work and we had to deal with some illnesses etc.. all the real life problems that you hear about but don't understand til you acutally go through them. In fact, the only time I thought about failing the bar was when things were so bad that I could only compare it to my feelings about failure- and that feeling of sheer terror about what the hell I was going to do if I never passed- and at least attempt to lean on whatever it was that got me through that. So chances are even if you fail the bar- it won't be the worst thing that happens to you, unfortunately- but you can use your experience to help you through whatever you have to go through in the future and again survive.

Now for a couple of answers to comments I just am now seeing. First, I checked and it looks like thestudygroup.com was bought by Kaplan- which is another awful development and ponzi scheme, because they seem to have done away with just the MBE only portions and make you pay $700. Another ponzi scheme. Anyway, besides scouring the internet for other studygroup type things, my only advice is that you should just use whatever MBE questions you can get your hands on- really the formulas for the questions are always the same and even old questions can be helpful and get you used to taking the MBE. The key is really just doing as many questions as you can get your hands on.

Second, if you are clerking and find out you fail- ask your Judge if you can take some time off just before the bar to really study. I would study on the weekends and at night, and then I took 2 weeks off before the exam and then the actual days of the exam to pass. My Judge was awesome about it and I would think most are. For those of you with kids- my hats are off to you. I didn't have one then, but I suppose now I would study during naptimes and at night and whenever I could get someone to watch the kids- but I think again making sure you have uninterrupted time just before the exam is crucial.

Let's see it's almost April, which means February results will be coming soon... good luck to those first time and retakers! I hope for the best for all of you. And am so so so glad this blog helps and continues to help some of you from not feeling so alone while going through this. Another blessing that came with failing. Just remember- you can do it! If I can anyone can!!!

Good luck!

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