Pass or No Pass?
So, it's the night before the bar exam results come out again, and I'm watching Deal or No Deal to pass the time. Kind of an ironic choice, I think. Each choice represents more and more and more chance to either win big or lose a lot. But if you really think about Deal or No Deal- you've already won if you made it onto the show. You are going to leave with money in your pocket that you didn't have before you got there- by doing little more than the guts to be on National TV biting your nails, pacing back and forth, feeling the rushs and lows of winning and losing with each case.
As the day gets closer to finding out, I think I've lost some perspective and I get caught up in the passing and not passing. Already, I've lost once and I think irrationally that luck is against me. I forget all the hard work I put in to study, how close I came last time to passing, and how chances are that all my hard work finally paid off.
But I am reminded that I'm just like any contestant appearing on Deal or No Deal. Either way, I've already graduated from law school. I hold a Bachelor's and Doctorate level degree that no one can take away from me. Passing the bar and practicing law is the logical next step- but it is not necessarily the happiest road, the easiest road, or the most lucrative road there is for me to take with my educational background and experience. When I started law school, one of my Professors gave a speech on the first day saying that only approximately 3% of people even make it to a doctoral level or graduate program in this country. So already, I've won. I beat the odds. Neither of my parents have their doctorates. No one else in my immediate family ever did. I am a first generation American on my dad's side, and 3rd on my mom's side. Both my parents grew up pretty poor with no real chance for educational advancement and both worked hard to give my sister and I a chance at a better life. I live in a great city, wondering which luxury apartment I can afford next year. I have a lot of debt, but I also have an IRA and a mutual fund that I started when I graduated from college.
I have a lot going for me.
So when I'm scrolling down the screen, wondering if i've passed or not, I guess I can say to myself, it doesn't really matter. I already am a happy person. I already accomplished my goal. Before I started law school all I wanted to do was clerk for a judge, and I'm doing it.
Passing is just icing on the cake.
Still, I hope that the stars align and I am ready.
As the day gets closer to finding out, I think I've lost some perspective and I get caught up in the passing and not passing. Already, I've lost once and I think irrationally that luck is against me. I forget all the hard work I put in to study, how close I came last time to passing, and how chances are that all my hard work finally paid off.
But I am reminded that I'm just like any contestant appearing on Deal or No Deal. Either way, I've already graduated from law school. I hold a Bachelor's and Doctorate level degree that no one can take away from me. Passing the bar and practicing law is the logical next step- but it is not necessarily the happiest road, the easiest road, or the most lucrative road there is for me to take with my educational background and experience. When I started law school, one of my Professors gave a speech on the first day saying that only approximately 3% of people even make it to a doctoral level or graduate program in this country. So already, I've won. I beat the odds. Neither of my parents have their doctorates. No one else in my immediate family ever did. I am a first generation American on my dad's side, and 3rd on my mom's side. Both my parents grew up pretty poor with no real chance for educational advancement and both worked hard to give my sister and I a chance at a better life. I live in a great city, wondering which luxury apartment I can afford next year. I have a lot of debt, but I also have an IRA and a mutual fund that I started when I graduated from college.
I have a lot going for me.
So when I'm scrolling down the screen, wondering if i've passed or not, I guess I can say to myself, it doesn't really matter. I already am a happy person. I already accomplished my goal. Before I started law school all I wanted to do was clerk for a judge, and I'm doing it.
Passing is just icing on the cake.
Still, I hope that the stars align and I am ready.
posted by JD at 5:59 PM
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