Holiday Jeer
So the holidays are here and that means two things: the busy Christmas season, fun parties, and the knowledge that right after, serious bar studying sets in. This is more glum than usual for many reasons. I am too busy with Christmas things to actually study this week, and I'd rather be studying than not, but can't, so its bothering me subconsciously that I even have to go through this rigamarole. Second, I can't enjoy the holiday cheer because I have to face this test again.
I started studying about two weeks ago and got a good start. I figured out my study schedule, wrote it all out, decided exactly what it was that I did wrong when I studied the last time, and changed my format of studying to make it better this time around. I realized that last time I was not efficient- I changed subjects each day, I didn't really focus on the answers of the multiple choices and I didn't read the correct ones and I didn't read the ones I got wrong closely enough at all. Now I know I must be dedicated, focused, AND meticulous, because I wasn't meticulous the last time around. So I have a plan, I just hope that I can stick to it. The holiday season isn't helping.
The other thing that isn't helping is that the Judge I work for is hearing a high profile case while I'm studying for the bar. The motions started this week, and while I am studying we have two busy weeks of regular stuff and then the jury selection for that trial, which should last up until the actual bar. I know that I have to study, but I also don't want to miss certain things, and I was hoping to study a lot during work, so we'll see how that actually plays out. It is just scary that this time around I have to work while studying, but I also have less to "learn" and more to "refine" so it might just even out.
Finally, its tough to hear my friends who have passed the bar talk about what happens- getting your swearing in cards, etc. My roommate is the least sensitive about it- she has no concept about how I feel that she passed and I didn't, and kind of acts superior to me because of it. That really ticks me off. She makes comments about other people that failed like, "i don't know, i thought they were smart" etc.. as if to say, "you're pretty dumb to have failed" and i know she really does think that in her brain. She is self-involved generally, so she probably has no idea I feel this way anyway.
Then I also feel like I have to put my personal life on hold because of the bar, and while that is a short time, I still feel like things are eating at me, nagging, waiting for me to make decisions and moves on. Should I continue to apply for jobs? What jobs should I apply to? What do I want to do with my career? Do I still want to live in my town? Do I still want to live in my state? Since I have to study, I know I have to put all of that out of my mind for the next few months.
Oh well. At least the Christmas business will end after this weekend.
I started studying about two weeks ago and got a good start. I figured out my study schedule, wrote it all out, decided exactly what it was that I did wrong when I studied the last time, and changed my format of studying to make it better this time around. I realized that last time I was not efficient- I changed subjects each day, I didn't really focus on the answers of the multiple choices and I didn't read the correct ones and I didn't read the ones I got wrong closely enough at all. Now I know I must be dedicated, focused, AND meticulous, because I wasn't meticulous the last time around. So I have a plan, I just hope that I can stick to it. The holiday season isn't helping.
The other thing that isn't helping is that the Judge I work for is hearing a high profile case while I'm studying for the bar. The motions started this week, and while I am studying we have two busy weeks of regular stuff and then the jury selection for that trial, which should last up until the actual bar. I know that I have to study, but I also don't want to miss certain things, and I was hoping to study a lot during work, so we'll see how that actually plays out. It is just scary that this time around I have to work while studying, but I also have less to "learn" and more to "refine" so it might just even out.
Finally, its tough to hear my friends who have passed the bar talk about what happens- getting your swearing in cards, etc. My roommate is the least sensitive about it- she has no concept about how I feel that she passed and I didn't, and kind of acts superior to me because of it. That really ticks me off. She makes comments about other people that failed like, "i don't know, i thought they were smart" etc.. as if to say, "you're pretty dumb to have failed" and i know she really does think that in her brain. She is self-involved generally, so she probably has no idea I feel this way anyway.
Then I also feel like I have to put my personal life on hold because of the bar, and while that is a short time, I still feel like things are eating at me, nagging, waiting for me to make decisions and moves on. Should I continue to apply for jobs? What jobs should I apply to? What do I want to do with my career? Do I still want to live in my town? Do I still want to live in my state? Since I have to study, I know I have to put all of that out of my mind for the next few months.
Oh well. At least the Christmas business will end after this weekend.
posted by JD at 10:10 AM
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