Worst Week Ever

I know somewhere there is a TV show, "Best Week Ever", well this goes down as the "Worst Week Ever" for me.
Some lowlights:

1) got into a fight with my best friend
2) got into a fight with my ex
3) unwittingly bounced 3 checks by clicking the wrong account when trying to transfer money into my checking account.
4) Sprint messed up my phone bill and tried to take money before its actually due.
5) Got a parking ticket even though I was legally parked.

So pretty much everything that could go wrong in my meaningless, boring, study filled life did. The fact that the bar is in less than a month is not helping matters either.

My life stands in a torrent of disarray:
1) I am not certified in NJ
2) I have no job and no prospects
3) I have loan payments to make and I make less than a slave wage when you deduct all of those payments

I am screwed screwed screwed screwed screwed screwed.